Okay, it’s really 100% official. I am, without a shadow of a doubt, actually 7o years old on the inside. I even surprise myself sometimes with the extent to which I fulfill the general stereotype of an aging, hokey grandma. Let me paint you a picture to illustrate my point better: Last night, a lovely Wednesday night when I could have been out doing any other number of things that a freshly turned 20-year-old could/should do, I chose to stay home and bake cookies and then…work on my quilt that I’m sewing. Quilting. What the hell. Aren’t I supposed to be going to cRaAaAaAaaazy house parties, doing keg-stands, and having drag races down in the L.A. river? Guess it’s just not in the cards for me.
And even as I type this, I’m trying as hard as I can to rationalize why I choose these activities over the others that I listed earlier. And I’ve got nothing. No reason. I just like to do fuddy-duddy, anti-social things, with the company of a few cats. God, I wish you were here so you could laugh at the fact that a Beach Boys song just started playing on my iTunes. Wait, no! I just found a way to rationalize (or at least subdue) my grandmothery ways: As I was quilting last night, I was listening to the music that all the kids listen to these days! I was listening to…102.7 KIIS FM and POWER 106! YEAH! Gotta get my Lil Wayne and Lady GaGa some how, right? Okay, good, so I do have one or two underlying qualities of an average young adult. Good.
Honey Florentines, though, seem like such an old lady cookie to me. I could be wrong–maybe their Beyonce’s favorite cookie of all time (doubtful)–but I can only imagine a group of 80-year-old socialites playing Bridge, wearing pants up to their ears, and delicately nibbling on a few of these ultra thin and dainty cookies from a porcelain dish resting on top of a doily.
Unfortunately, these dignified old ladies would probably have turned their noses up at my feeble attempt of making these tea cookies, because in all honesty, mine weren’t that great. They came out underbaked, and although I tried crisping them up a bit in the toaster oven, they always got stuck in my teeth after a few seconds of chewing. In all likelihood this was because I used a caramelized honey which had a totally different consistency than regular honey: it was far, far thicker and more viscous, which probably caused the cookies to bake up differently and be a lot less delicate after a few chews. Caramelized honey is totally delicious, however, so I highly recommend buying some to mix into your Metamucil or Benefiber.
But despite the lackluster batch that I produced, I really like the idea of these cookies. Maybe that’s just my inner old lady speaking (her name is Agnes, by the way), but these cookies are just so pretty and delicate and lacey looking that they just really appeal to my tea-party-loving, doily-making sensibilities (yes, I crochet doilies too, and I’m not lying). So, if you’re like me and relate more to people that are about half a century older than you, or perhaps you are one of these people, you should make these. Preferably with regular honey. And then you could dip them in some chocolate! Or stick them in a scoop or two of raspberry sorbet! Or have them with a tea cup full of Chamomile! With a side of homemade whipped cream and macerated berries! I could call Beyonce to see what she likes to eat with them, but I think she’s busy today, you know,
dancing or
singing to the President or
just looking super fly or something.
>>The recipe is not listed on the Martha Stewart website, so I’m not sure if it’s kosher for me to copy it straight out of the book. Is that illegal? If you know anything about copyright, let me know! The last thing I want is to be sued by Mama M. Also, I’m too lazy to copy it by hand. Thanks for understanding folks.<<
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{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 2/5
Ingredient Accessibility: 5/5
Tastiness: 3/5 (If you make the cookies with normal honey–as you should–this number should go up!)
Attractiveness: 4.5/5
Is it worth it?: If you’re having a tea party, or really any sort of refined celebration, these should totally be on your list.
{Pairings}
Drink: Tea, tea, tea. Chamomile would be nice, but I’m not a huge fan, so maybe a nice herbal tea with rosehips?

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